INTERVIEWING THE LOVE EXPERTS

INTERVIEWING THE LOVE EXPERTS

I chose to interview my husband because we have been married for over twenty six years. We married on January 15, 1990 and till this day we are still together. We have had ups and downs through our marriage and I know that we are not the perfect couple, but we have been able to manage life during this twenty six years together. We planned together both of my pregnancies and we both decided when was the right time to have a baby. We waited two years before I became pregnant and we used these time to travel and we both enjoyed our marriage during this time alone. When my children were born everything changed. My husband asked me if I wanted to be a stay home mom and I agree with him. At that given time it was the best for our family. I do not regret doing it because I was able to be with my children all the time. We have to compromise in order to have a successful marriage. He does not agree with many things I like and I respect him. Also in many occasions I do not agree with things he does or likes and I tell him I do not agree with that. Communication is number one in our marriage.  My children always tell me I am too nice and not to tell him everything, but I guess this is how I am and this is why we get along. We talk about everything, we wake up talking and go to bed talking. He talks so much that sometimes I feel like I want to choke him but I guess we compromise. He loves to go shopping, and I do too. He is the perfect person to go shopping with. He makes sure I have everything that I can possibly need and more. I just make sure I eat before I go out with him. He tends to forget that I have to eat and it can be hours and hours shopping before I eat when I’m with him. One of the things that he does not like is to be alone. For instance if I have to go to visit my family in Mexico or travel to Arizona or Las Vegas he gets mad. He always says who is going to take care of the house. I tell him my twenty year old son is there. However he ends up taking vacation to take care of the dogs and the house. Instead of him helping and taking control after I live, my son ends up taking care of him too because he gets depressed  and would immediately go shopping for lots of things for me, so when I come home he receives me with lots of surprises. He just does not know how to be home alone. I recommend new couples to always be independent and consult everything with your partners. That does not mean you want your partner to decide for you, but you must let he/she know that you want to do things right and that you both approve on decision making or in new purchases. Save money for a rainy day. Share the house work evenly like 50-50 so both of you can be happy. If you both work make sure you communicate on the things you both like to eat. Best recommendation plan ahead if possible and always communicate and compromise. We enjoy gardening for many hours together. He does not like to paint, but I do, so if I want to paint the house he buys me what I need and I do it. To me this is compromising. I love my husband.

CHARACTERISTICS OF FRIENDSHIPS

CHARACTERISTICS OF FRIENDSHIPS

Companionship: Is the person that we chose to spend time with when we get along. The person that shares interest with us, and that somebody that we love to spend time with. There can be ups and downs. Not everything is happiness.  

Respect: To have boundaries and not to opinionate in the other person’s life. Also to be honest with each other.

Acceptance: To let the other person be free and to let them make their own decisions and not judge them.

Help: To provide assistance without being asked for. To lend a hand in time of need.

Trust: To be able to talk to that someone and know that you can talk to them and that they will not disclose any private information.

Loyalty: To be able to count on one another with no excuses.

Mutuality: When your friend is having problems or in need it will affect you the same way it will affect them.

Reciprocity: To be able to provide favors the same way we receive them. Also to be able to lend a hand the same way we use that hand when we need it.

My friend’s name is Jazmine, and with her I learned to have a good companionship. We both enjoy spending time together. She has been my friend for about twenty three years. We travel once a year and we are able to talk about everything. Jazmine and I have limits of respect. If I do not like something I immediately tell her or she tells me. She accepts me for who I am and I accept her for who she is. We had to make decisions together in many occasions, and we learn to accept with confidence each other’s decisions and opinions. She was born sick and I have been able to help her as much as I possibly can. I go to her doctor’s visits and I am there for her during surgeries. There has been times that I am not strong emotionally for her, but she is there helping me when I need it the most. She gives me the support I need. We talk all the time and we trust each other with anything. We trust each other with money and also with important decisions. We are very loyal people and we know that we can count on each other. Also when either one of us is having problems we mutually feel whatever affects the other person. We also argue and sometimes we may not agree to something, but we discuss it and problem solved.

Connect core concepts in health, 12^th ed., Insel Paul M., Roth Walton T.

THE DIVORCE RATE

THE DIVORCE RATE

It is believed that divorce rates are slowly decreasing. Compared to the year 1990 to 2016 where divorced rates reached then at approximately seventy percent to now where divorce rates are lower. I can only assume that the feminist move from 1970 took a big role when women were accepted in the work force. With that they started to acquire rights, so women started gaining a place in society with the new modern life. Women started to work and did not to stay at home creating a better future. Women started to share equally the house work and all duties performed by women. Women and men are older when they get married on this days. Therefore it has been proven that age takes a big role in getting married because the older the couples are the more stable, prepared and more mature. The less chance of divorcing they have. The top reason that marriages end up in divorce can be attributed to lack of education and also that the couples are too young.  

http://www.stateofourunions.org

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/02/divorce-rate-declining-_n_6256956.html

These are just some ideas of people that are married need to accomplish in order to have a successful marriage. Researchers call them “tasks”.

-          Separate emotionally from the family you grew up in; not to the point of estrangement, but enough so that your identity is separate from that of your parents and siblings.

-          Build togetherness based on a shared intimacy and identity, while at the same time set boundaries to protect each partner's autonomy.

-           Establish a rich and pleasurable sexual relationship and protect it from the intrusions of the workplace and family obligations.

-          For couples with children, embrace the daunting roles of parenthood and absorb the impact of a baby's entrance into the marriage.

-          Learn to continue the work of protecting the privacy of you and your spouse as a couple. Confront and master the inevitable crises of life.

-          Maintain the strength of the marital bond in the face of adversity. The marriage should be a safe haven in which partners are able to express their differences, anger and conflict.

-          Use humor and laughter to keep things in perspective and to avoid boredom and isolation. Nurture and comfort each other, satisfying each partner's needs for dependency and offering continuing encouragement and support.

-          Keep alive the early romantic, idealized images of falling in love, while facing the sober realities of the changes wrought by time.

In conclusion the more educated people are the less chance of divorce. Also the older you are the better results of matureness for the marriage.

http://www.apa.org/topics/divorce/

YOGA BREATHING FOR STRESS RELIEF

YOGA BREATHING FOR STRESS RELIEF

           

This are two relaxations techniques for yoga breathing to relieve stress.

BREATH RETENTION

KUMBHAKA PRANAYAMA

Kumbhaka is the central practice of traditional Hatha pranayama; there are two types of retention: after an inhale (antara), and after an exhale (bahya)

By practicing these breathing techniques you can help your blood vessels expand and provide more oxygen to the body. I practiced these techniques and they helped me by Inhaling and exhaling deeply several times. I recommend this to people that suffers severe stress because this can avoid massive headaches. I suffer fibromyalgia and this condition is chronic fatigue with eighteen different points in my back that give me pain and these techniques help me to sleep better even when I am in pain.

www.yogajournal.com/category/poses/types/pranayama/

By using some yoga breathing exercises you can have a deep impact in the quality of life you live. For example you have more concentration, you don’t feel as tired as any other day. You feel more positive about things in life. Like you can accomplish more.

https://youtu.be/UTOUDOeGx Yoga breathing for stress relief.

MAKE STRESS YOUR FRIEND

MAKE STRESS YOUR FRIEND

The Ted Talk by Kelly McGonigal’s video was interesting. I learned the importance of not creating so much stress to our bodies, because we can get a heart attack. She mentions situations that are stressful for us, but we should take them and then turned them around for good. It is good for us to be positive about situations in life and take advantage of them. If we want to live a healthy life we need to learn how to make stress our friend by learning to take control of stressful situations. We need to learn to do relaxation techniques, and also when we share our problems with other people the stress is not that bad.

It is very important to learn how to deal with stress because if we don’t then we can end up being death. If we educate our bodies that stress is not what kills us and that it is the effects of stress what costs our lives. If we perceive things differently it cannot be that bad when we need to deal with a stressful situation. It is a matter of perception. In the video it mentions how anxiety is a natural response to stress, but if we learn to control it perhaps by taking deep breaths the impact of stress should not be that great. Also if we provide hugs to loved ones we produce oxytocin hormone and in exchange the heart valves can relax not causing a heart attack. I believe we need to be more compassionate to people and love other the way we would like to be loved.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcGyVTAoXEU

           

REDUCE YOUR STRESS

REDUCE YOUR STRESS

            In my life I have two major stressors that contribute in my life during my daily routine. The number one problem is family problems, and number two traffic. Not counting school. My day starts every morning driving to school, and in order to have a good day I need to have enough rest. Freeways get very congested and that is how stress starts by thinking that we are not going to be at school on time. I also think that family problems contribute to stress because in order to function I have to have a clear mind. Problems affect me by not letting me sleep. So it is a circle. If I don’t sleep I cannot drive. I try to help my family, but also need to think that I cannot solve their problems.

Therefore I practice different techniques to reduce the stress it causes me like take walks daily to have a clear mind or do what I call me time. I do deep breathing relaxation techniques while walking. I learned that I cannot solve people’s problems, but if I am relaxed I probably can take things in a better way. By practicing deep breathing for a few minutes while I take my daily walks makes me feel relaxed and this helps me sleep more comfortable and prepares me for a long day. http://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/relaxation-techniques-for-stress-relief.htm

            Me time is also another technique that I like to practice and this allows me to dedicate time to do my nails, probably hair, and sometimes a facial, pedicure or manicure or just wear make-up. Some people prefers to go shopping and treat themselves with beautiful clothing, a purse, perfume or maybe shoes. In the other hand If I go out and stay in traffic is not going to be time for me. So I choose to stay home and do something for me that is how I like it and I find I enjoy it. I hope that while I continue practicing these techniques I find the relief that I need to be relaxed and not stressed. 

blog.ryding2health.com/.../simple-relaxation-techniques-to-create-me-ti...

SOCIAL SUPPORT AND STRESS

SOCIAL SUPPORT AND STRESS

Social support can play a major part in our daily stress. Social support is in charge of the way we perceive the love and care provided by someone that is caring. It is believed that social support can have an extreme effect on people.  For me it is very important as a human being to provide the necessary amount of support for my friends and family when they needed it. I always go above and beyond to assist others when they need me, especially if they are related to me or they are close friends. Also in exchange we expect that people are going to be there for us when we need them. I believe it is very important to keep contact with friends and family in order to have a good social support when we are stressed. The relationship between social support and stress is the kind of relationship associated between a friend, or perhaps someone close to us like a family member or maybe someone that provides support when needed. Things we need to do to build social support network could be to try to make friends and keep them close to us, also it is very important to maintain contact with relatives and family members. In many occasions we have problems that might put us or forces us to stay away from friends and family, but we never consider that we might need a lending hand from the same people. Fortunately is never too late to fix the bond that was broken.

https://www.boundless.com/psychology/textbooks/boundless-psychology-textbook/stress-and-health-psychology-17/coping-with-and-managing-stress-89/the-value-of-social-support-in-managing-stress-339-12874/

The difference between social support and social support network is that the support network can be provided only by a health therapist. For some people is easier to go through therapies in a group, and open up than trying to find a person to trust. People can be intimidated when trying to socialize with a good friend or maybe a relative.  It depends on individuals if they have the necessary skills to be able to socialize or not.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/stress-management/in-depth/social-support/art-20044445